Often I wonder, "Why am I such an unprofitable servant to the Lord?" It's always bothered me. Those of you that know me know that I can't stand being indebted for anything. I don't like loans, and avoid them whenever possible. I don't like owing someone a favor, or an egg, or anything else that could be avoided by any other choice. But then I think of the Lord, and all I owe him. I try to "pay him back," and have no success.
Good morning world, how are you today? I think. Okay... How can I work to repay my debt to the Lord today? I know I need to pay my tithing, so I'll do that. I need to [teach/visit teach/sing in choir/whatever my current calling is]. I need to take care of my family, so I'll make dinner, and try to be more present for my husband and baby. And maybe I can invite a new ward member over for dinner?
Sounds like a basically good day, right? Lots to do, lots of people to bless, lots of hearts to cheer. So let's do this!
But by the time I can pay my tithing, I have discovered an extra $20 in my pocket. I fulfill my calling, but find that my [lesson] blesses me far more than anyone else. I try to be more present but immediately realize the incredible blessing I have in having a wonderful husband and precious baby to be present for. And I invite the new ward members over for dinner, only to be blessed by a loaf of homemade bread, and a dear new friend.
This is only a tiny example. The Lord promises us that as we obey him, he will "open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10). And that has been my experience over and over again. So many times it is even literal. He just pours blessings for me, and there is not room for them all.
Matthew 19:29 reads, "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or bretheren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."
This scripture greatly helped me during a difficult time in my life, when my family moved far from the home I love (high five if you get my reference!) partway into my first semester of high school. I felt a reassurance that the Lord would continue to bless me, and that as I had given up my friends and home for Him, that He would someday bless me an hundred fold, and give me everlasting life.
Another time comes to mind. A story I will probably share more fully in a future post, but I can sum it up here. I had just returned to school for my third semester, and realized that my financial aid had not come through. The school assured me that it would be in within 4-6 weeks, but I knew that I only had about $20 to get me through until then. I begged the Lord for help, and then chose to pay my tithing, even though I needed every penny I had. The first day of the semester came, and one friend came over with bags and bags of groceries for me (totally out of the blue), and my roommate came home with a big box of food, from "some guy" that asked her to give it to me (yes, she lied about not knowing him, yes, I figured out who it was by the end of the semester, but that is not what mattered). The tiny pantry shelves that were assigned to me were literally overflowing with food. I had enough and to spare. As a side note, my financial aid came in very quickly--I think it was by the end of that week.
When we sacrifice for and trust in the Lord, we are blessed beyond measure, and often more than we have room for. The moment may seem totally hopeless, we may feel lost and confused beyond saving, but he still will save. He still will bless us, and he still cares.
And I am coming to find peace in the fact that I can never pay him back. I continue to try to be somewhat worthy of the blessings that he so generously bestows, but I know that I will never really be worthy. And that's okay. He loves me anyway, and delights in blessing me. And he feels the same way about you.
Good morning world, how are you today? I think. Okay... How can I work to repay my debt to the Lord today? I know I need to pay my tithing, so I'll do that. I need to [teach/visit teach/sing in choir/whatever my current calling is]. I need to take care of my family, so I'll make dinner, and try to be more present for my husband and baby. And maybe I can invite a new ward member over for dinner?
Sounds like a basically good day, right? Lots to do, lots of people to bless, lots of hearts to cheer. So let's do this!
But by the time I can pay my tithing, I have discovered an extra $20 in my pocket. I fulfill my calling, but find that my [lesson] blesses me far more than anyone else. I try to be more present but immediately realize the incredible blessing I have in having a wonderful husband and precious baby to be present for. And I invite the new ward members over for dinner, only to be blessed by a loaf of homemade bread, and a dear new friend.This is only a tiny example. The Lord promises us that as we obey him, he will "open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10). And that has been my experience over and over again. So many times it is even literal. He just pours blessings for me, and there is not room for them all.
Matthew 19:29 reads, "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or bretheren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."
This scripture greatly helped me during a difficult time in my life, when my family moved far from the home I love (high five if you get my reference!) partway into my first semester of high school. I felt a reassurance that the Lord would continue to bless me, and that as I had given up my friends and home for Him, that He would someday bless me an hundred fold, and give me everlasting life.
Another time comes to mind. A story I will probably share more fully in a future post, but I can sum it up here. I had just returned to school for my third semester, and realized that my financial aid had not come through. The school assured me that it would be in within 4-6 weeks, but I knew that I only had about $20 to get me through until then. I begged the Lord for help, and then chose to pay my tithing, even though I needed every penny I had. The first day of the semester came, and one friend came over with bags and bags of groceries for me (totally out of the blue), and my roommate came home with a big box of food, from "some guy" that asked her to give it to me (yes, she lied about not knowing him, yes, I figured out who it was by the end of the semester, but that is not what mattered). The tiny pantry shelves that were assigned to me were literally overflowing with food. I had enough and to spare. As a side note, my financial aid came in very quickly--I think it was by the end of that week.
When we sacrifice for and trust in the Lord, we are blessed beyond measure, and often more than we have room for. The moment may seem totally hopeless, we may feel lost and confused beyond saving, but he still will save. He still will bless us, and he still cares.
And I am coming to find peace in the fact that I can never pay him back. I continue to try to be somewhat worthy of the blessings that he so generously bestows, but I know that I will never really be worthy. And that's okay. He loves me anyway, and delights in blessing me. And he feels the same way about you.
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